Build the Life you Desire with Debra Trappen

Before I even go into all the nuggets of inspiration from today’s speaker, I just want to put out there the IMPORTANCE of mindset and attracting what you want. You can find my **SIDE STORY** of what happened at the event that was a total sign of something big coming! Scroll to the end of the post to get my personal side story.



Feel like you’ve done all the self help juju already? There are always new concepts and rituals to adopt to get to the next level. Fire Up! was hosted by my friends of the Women’s Council of Realtors of Greater Snohomish at the Edmonds Yacht Club.


As much as I enjoy listening to all my personal growth podcasts, live events have an energy that moves you to tears, moves you to make a change, and you get to connect with the speakers in person which makes it all worthwhile.

Today’s guest, Debra Trappen is a business coach who is fiercely passionate about igniting GenX women to step up and into their greatness right where they are, whether it be the couch, carpool lane, cubical, or corner office. She inspires others with her sass and moxie to design and intentionally live their signature life out loud.

Below are my favorite nuggets of inspiration to build the life you desire.



Some of you might be against me on this one but I agree completely with Debra on this topic. You know I’m all about women empowerment, supporting each other, coming together and making a difference but I also think that we need those events where we work together. There’s a need for inclusivity, meaning, bring into the picture as well. Why can’t we work together? In order to be heard, we need to bring in the people that can help make a difference, which means having men come hear us out too. They might not know how we feel. If we include them in the arena some might be open to hearing us out and including us into their conversations too.

In all the battles we face in life, we have to come together, listen, and make sure everyone is included in the conversation. Even when it’s difficult and even if they aren’t on our side.


Debra uses soul tank to define that part within you that needs self care and love. When you are running low on your own fuel you start lashing out, getting cranky, making decisions that aren’t so great. Ummmm…yes, I’ve been there too. I hold in everything and make my outer world my priority. Forget that run, it’s deadline time!

Unfortunately, that doesn’t bring out the best of me and there is no way, I can make anyone happy in grumpy dumpy moode. Make sure to become aware of how you are feeling to know when are starting to run low, that way, you can start to pull back and fuel your tank up again.

Know who fills your soul up with peace and good energy and make that time to be around them. Is there something that instantly makes you feel good? Pencil it in once a week.

Running gives me this high, I get off the treadmill and feel like superwoman, I become more focused on my day and feel like anything is possible. I know it isn’t realistic to run everyday, but I add it into my schedule 3 to 4 times a week. I add 15 minutes and end up running 30 because it feels so good.


This is a big one. It’s like we get trapped in this comparative place where we never feel like we’re good enough for our spouse or ourselves. Success is actually different for everyone, so there really isn’t any reason to compare. Just because for one person it means being the number one sales leader, doesn’t mean everyone wants to put the time and energy into that. For another person success can mean making sure your family sees you four evenings a week, or it can be writing your first book, or anything that lights you up.

MY FAVORITE EXERCISE, write this down for yourself

  1. ) I am successful when………
  2. ) I will FEEL successful when….

The first answer shows what you can mentor others on and the second answer shows what mentor you need to find.

So simple yet so genius!

My answer:

1.) I am successful when I help others show up to look and feel their best.

2.) I will feel successful when I finish my book.


Nope, I never received a love note in my lunchbox when I was a kid. I was put on the spot when Debra asked the room to raise their hand if they had received one. No joke, I was the only one who hadn’t. Must be my Latina background, my mom was too busy in her own world keeping it together for us.

This was an eye opener to me on something I personally want to do more for myself in general. Sometimes in relationships we start asking our partner to take us out to eat, to get us that special massage or piece of jewelry for our birthday, to be more romantic with us, but if we just do it for ourselves? What if we just start to love ourselves so much that we don’t need to ask? What if we become a little selfish and put money aside to help fuel our own tank and not give all our energy to others.

This would make a big difference on how we value ourselves but also how our partner values us.

The love note I’m going to write on my mirror, ‘You are a powerful business leader with a heart of gold.’ Giving people joy, making them feel special and using my platform to do it is my greatest gift. I have to be reminded that I am capable of touching people’s lives everyday.


Introverts, we don’t really like that small talk. We want to get down to the important conversations and talking points. The exercise above helps you change the way you network by problem solving! Yes, say you are working on a project and what you are looking for help with or offer your amazing talent to help solve someone else’s problem.

We are all here to help eachother grow and networking is precisely that, to meet the people you connect. Create those relationships as a facilitator to introduce people to someone else, to become friends if it feels right, become a client if you need their services, or whatever else flourishes from that conversation. The most surprising thing about networking is sometimes that person doesn’t come into your life again for months or years but that one spark ignites something greater later on. You don’t know what any relationship will form until you make an imprint and try.



5 years ago after I closed my store and got divorced for the SECOND time, I went into this hole and depression. After sulking around I knew that I was ready to get back to work and being creative again but I needed some sort of inspiration and found the perfect person to see. This life coach had a speaking engagement and everything she shared hit that part of my soul that fired me up.

There was a woman sitting next to me that bought me her book as I was speaking to her. I worked with that life coach for 6 months, I doubled my income and was finally able to accept my new place in life.

FAST FORWARD 5 years later, I’m in a place with a lot of opportunities coming my way, lots of ideas, and celebrating 10 years of helping people look and feel their best with my styling services at The Closet Edit. The past year has been all about surrounding myself with empowering groups of leaders and I didn’t want to miss this event hosted by the Women’s Council of Realtors of Greater Snohomish.

After Debra’s presentation, I was asking her questions and sharing a little about my story and then the woman sitting next to me purchased her book for me! We all got goosebumps after I shared that this EXACT thing happened 5 years ago that brought my life into flow again. Before entering the event I shared a Insta story about how I’m actually looking for a new life coach to help me find my new focus in my career.

Lucky? Crazy? Manifesting? Maybe all of it. I’m always grateful everyday for being part of impactful moments with inspiring people.




Author: seattlestylist

Tannya is best known for her style expertise and personal shopping skills. She can easily combine textures, styles, and trends to produce an effortlessly pulled together look. Clients appreciate her ability to understand and interpret their creative vision yet stay true to her personal aesthetic.

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